ChatGPT’s Got Some Trust Issues

We start this news with our dear friend, Terrible Turing Test Topinka, who found himself in a could-be-script-for-a-techno-thriller plot. Should he trust the slightly creepy AI that teaches his student? Or should he stick with the age-old human assurance of “Innocent until proven guilty”? Hilariously, Prof. Paul Kleinman decided to test the waters himself, resulting in a situation even he wasn’t prepared for!

Highlights of AI Story:

• Prof. Paul Kleinman, probably itching for a nice experiment, decided to test the much-talked-about ChatGPT himself. Plot twist: he’s a pro at this topic.
• In the most gleeful manner of a scientist testing a theory, Kleinman wrote a fine essay on his area of expertise and let the super AI ChatGPT examine it. Lo and behold, it zoned Kleinman out as an AI (Oooh, that’s gotta hurt). It’s like Shakespeare being told he plagiarized his own sonnet.
• Riding the hilariously absurd wave, Kleinman concludes that if you’re too good – logical, grammatically perfect, making literary sense – chances are you might be mistaken for AI. Moral of the story? Write badly, stay human. It’s the new survival tip in the world of AI.

Final Thoughts

And here we thought we’d be worried about AI taking over the world, little did we know they’d be stealing our jobs as, well… humans who write well. It’s a fun place to be, living in an era where Robots throw McCourt-level shade and tell us we can’t write good. You hear that aspiring authors, essayists, and literary geniuses of the world? It’s time to lower your grammar standards, pepper in some doubled negatives, maybe even throw in some “ain’ts” and “gonnas.” Let’s take back our humanity before Prof. Kleinman’s findings become a validated scientific theory! And thus, everyone lived happily ever after with their bad grammar. The end. Or is it? Cue dramatic techno music.